How You Doin'?

So, we've been here two and a half weeks now . . . how are we really doing, right?

It's an adjustment.  We knew it would be.  We're still adjusting and who knows if we'll ever feel adjusted. 

It's hard.  Every day it's hard.  But, please don't hear that as a complaint.  I was up for this challenge.  I knew it would be hard. I didn't move here against my will.  But, that doesn't mean it's easy.  I'm open to it all, but I'm not going to sit here and say it's a piece of cake because it's not. 

And again, we knew a lot of how things would be going into it.  I guess it's nice to not be surprised, but they are all still challenges and just. . . adjustments. 

I'll just start with the very hardest part I've had so far.  And I admit, I wasn't expecting this part would be so hard but it has so far been impossible to feed my family to my standards.  I love that so much over here is organic and non-GMO . . . but I am having one heck of a time finding any whole wheat bread.  Like, at all.  Even breads that call themselves "Vollkorn" (whole grain) might be mostly whole wheat but then a little non-whole wheat. 

The other day the kids and I took a gigantic journey to find a whole grain bakery several people had told me about.  It is about 6 miles away from us.  If I was to take a car, it would be semi-direct, like this (see the small blue dotted line from the top right, through the "e" and "r" in Berlin?):



Only, I don't have a car.  So, my journey was like this: walk in the summer sun to our subway stop, ride non-air conditioned subway 18 stops, with three children, switch subway lines (at yellow flag), ride 5 more stops, walk to bakery, pay €4.65 (more than $6 US) for a single loaf of bread and then reverse the journey. 



Now, again, please don't read this as a complaint.  It's just different.  Different than what we were used to and perhaps we were spoiled by our two paid off "nice" cars with a/c and enough money for gas.  I realize it could be worse . . . it could be much hotter or it could be freezing, I could have a baby in a stroller, etc.  I'm just saying it's different.  That this is what we're adjusting to.  We definitely approach it as an adventure.  We walked to the bakery, but we stopped at a new market on our way discovering some yummy chips.  Then once we reached the bakery, they sweetly gave each of my children a free roll.  The clerk asked, "Do you want to do this in English or German?" when she heard me struggling but gave me the option (soon I will want to practice German).  We stopped at a huge park in the area that we wouldn't have gone to otherwise.  We explored.  We had fun with it.  But it also took our entire afternoon.  Buying a loaf of whole wheat bread.

I still haven't found acceptable "jelly" for Dalton's daily breakfast and lunch.  At home we had strawberry preserves, no seeds, no added sugar.  Can't find that yet.  And I can't even tell you how much I've looked.  Dalton can't handle the weird texture of chunks of strawberry.  Or seeds.  He doesn't like any other flavor.  But he eats a PBJ every single day, pretty much.  I wish he wasn't that way but he's not a "if he gets hungry enough, he'll eat it".  He'll throw up if the texture bothers him.  Or he'll just not eat.  Really.  I'm on the last jar I brought from home and after this runs out, I'm not sure what I'll do. 

At home we enjoyed several meals with black beans.  Can't buy them in a can at just any old store.  I can't afford the coconut oil they have here.  I used coconut oil in most all of my baking.  Coconut butter (that I use to make my breakfast cookies) isn't available anywhere here.  Can't find tortillas here, or if you do, they're full of all kinds of icky junk that we would rather just pass on tortillas than eat all those preservatives and processed things.  I know I could make my own, I have in the past, but it takes me the whole afternoon to buy a loaf of bread . . . when would I have the time?  And I don't have a rolling pin yet and it's not like I can just run up to Target. :)  We might get to that point but again, I've been here less than 3 weeks.

Keep in mind, it was difficult for us to find meals at home with J being vegan, me being lazy (preferring to merely crack open a can of beans rather than soak overnight and then cook them), and the kids being picky.  So, it's just that much harder here when our old standbys are no longer options.  Restaurants are hard too with those limitations.  Most times when we go out, it's Italian where J and I eat pasta and the kids have pizza.  It's getting old.

After I was in--literally--6 grocery stores on Saturday, a friend told me that I'm preoccupied with grocery stores.  And right now, I am.  I'm obsessed with feeding my family quality food and still figuring out how best to do that.  So she's totally right.  And I'm still trying to find all our "staples" and build my kitchen (food processor, blender, bread machine, cookie sheets, rolling pin . . .).  I can't find chili powder.  I'm sure it's out there, I just have to find it.  So I go in all the stores, you know?  I would love to find canned black beans nearby . . . so I look for it in every store.  I need acceptable cereal for Easton. A block of cheddar cheese? Haven't seen one. I can't find baked potato chips like we ate at home which were just like sliced potatoes and a little sea salt... baked.  Healthier.  But I keep looking.  I would love to find the coconut butter I mentioned above, so I keep looking.  And then there's just differences among the stores.  One store I go to doesn't have yogurt we find acceptable.  Another store doesn't have acceptable soy milk.  The best chips I've found, while still full of fat, aren't available in all the stores.  Canned artichoke hearts and coconut water are extremely cost prohibitive at most stores, but I look for them in all the stores to see where I need to go when it's time to stock up or whatever. 

So yeah, my days are spent reading (and translating!) labels among various grocery stores and reminding the kids to stop doing karate jumps into the aisles or stop swinging their swim bag into the glass bottles.  Yeah, the hardest part has been feeding our family.  The kids are always hungry, with less whole wheat fiber they don't stay full as long, with more sugar and refined things, their tummies hurt after awhile so they can't eat as much at once.   I hate that I've had to make all these concessions just so we can eat. 

It's not even like there's helpful customer service with, "Are you finding everything you need?' at each turn.  Not that I could ask for what I want so well anyway. . .

The next hardest part has been not knowing German at all.  I'm doing okay with the written word, but when people talk to me--or yell at me-- I haven't the foggiest idea what they are saying.  Like, I'm not even picking up anything.  Not one word do I go, "Oh, okay, I can guess the gist" or "He's asking about ____".  Nuthin'.  The delivery guy with my Amazon package yesterday rang our buzzer and asked a question.  I just hit the "unlock" to let him in not realizing there was a question in his speech.  He had to call back and ask again, and Jason was able to sort of help.  Sometimes I can sort of come up with words to get my question or point across, "Can I pay with my Visa?" "One chocolate cake" "Coffee with milk and sugar". 

My plan is definitely to learn German, and I do a few "lessons" online to learn, but that all comes with reading.  That is why I am so-so with the written word:  signs, food labels, menus, advertisements... There are German classes here (I read that on a sign! ;) ), but when am I going to go?  I have to wait till the kids are in school, I think.  I was sort of under the impression that "everyone here speaks English" but I am not finding that to be the case.  Or they're really good actors.  Even so, I think "everyone's" English is still superior to my German.  In the more touristy areas, "everyone" speaks English, but we have neighbors here that don't and store clerks here that don't.  I have to keep reminding myself that I have only been here less than 3 weeks, I'll get there. 


Some of the other things we're trying to adjust to (and you're fully aware of my issue if you're my FB friend) is the different attitude towards nudity and bodily functions in general.  We were at the park one of our first nights here and there were 4 different girls in just their underpants.  Easily Dalton's age.  In underpants.  What I didn't realize, was this was slowly breaking us in to NO pants.  We see fully naked kids up to about age 6 all the time.  All the time (Jason saw two completely naked toddlers in the stroller at the grocery store!).  My kids are having a hard time wrapping their heads around people being allowed to be naked in public when we're always stressing "private!"  At the water playground the other day: bare bums galore.  If this was in America, everyone would have gotten E. coli with the lack of "swim diapers" and such.  It certainly smelled like a port-a-potty.  And then there's men in their underpants (weenie bikini style) sunning themselves in a park.  One older gent had added some unfortunate stretching moves just as we walked past which Autumn found highly amusing and let us all (like, the whole park!) know.  Complete with pointing.  But one day, it'll just be "regular" to them.  Maybe. 

The toilets here are different too.


Much less water.  Like here: (this is ours at home here, freshly cleaned):

You can't see it so well but that is a steep slope to the water at the bottom.

But a true German toilet is "backwards" . . . I took this at the water playground the other day:



So, in the back there is basically a "poo shelf" and indeed, this is what it is for.  So you can "inspect your release" as Jason's co-worker put it.  And, forget about a man standing to have a wee with that sort of shallow poo shelf.  Splash back!  That is when all the men are apparently ;encouraged to "Sitzpinkel". I personally think it's a fine idea but, how annoying to an American, I'm sure.  And because of the less-water-potties or the poo-shelf-potties, well, every single toilet you'll ever see here will have a toilet brush next to it.  You do your business, inspect, and then, I guess you clean up the evidence.  But I'm sorry, there is NO chance I'm picking up a brush in a public toilet that countless others have used to erase their skid marks just after making said marks.  No way.  And it's no wonder that these bathrooms often smell like, well, like you'd expect with bits of inspected releases on the toilet brushes. 


And that's even after most of the potties are also pay toilets!  This was at the mall:


Easton had to go.  So we didn't have a choice, really.  We paid this dude to let him pass.  Not many of them are "manned".  Otherwise, I hear there are turnstiles that you have to feed a coin into in order to get the stile to turn.  We always plan ahead.  I've always been a stickler for the kids going potty before we leave the house.  Always.  Now it's a necessity.  And if we come across a free one, like at church, J's office, or sometimes in a restaurant we're already at then we all go.  Whether you have to or not because you never know . . . 

In addition to the relaxed attitudes about nudity and encouraged fecal inspection, they're also more open with "relations" in general.  Sex shops (with window displays), erotic museums, newsstand Playboy displays . . . they're just around.  Wherever.  Subway stops, shops along the regular ol' road.





And so are English curse words.  Like, I know it's just a word, but I don't want my sweet little boy reading me, "Sh__ happens" off the package of toilet paper.  Or seeing the young teens walking the mall with their parents with "Bulls___" or "F__k" on their shirts like it's nothing.  Is it because the word is in English?  Are they that "loose" with the curse words in German as well?  (I don't know because I don't know those words, written or spoken).  I know I'm an uptight American and I'm probably even more conservative than most Americans . . .

Hmmm, other things to get used to.  Oh!  The money tray.  This was one I didn't know about prior to coming here.  Most things above I'd at least heard of, whether or not I was fully prepared (which I never was).  But yeah, this:



Even though they can show me their boobings and sex clothes and bare kindergarten bums, please let's only exchange money on this here tray.  I put my money there and then you'll put my change there and we won't risk touching at all.  Even if I just used the poo swirler brush in the bathroom after you, we'll put the money here.  And actually, I have no idea if this is even what the reasoning is behind the money tray.  I will have to ask an actual German.  (I've now met a couple of 'those'!)


Speaking of money, that's different too.  It's weird for me to carry cash.  Jason and I always used our credit cards (but then paid them off each month, settle down).  And not only bills, but their coins are high value sometimes too.  And I need to keep some on hand in case we need to pay for a potty.  I'm actually looking for a new wallet because my current one is just not cut out for this cash based society. 

The Euro coins go up to €1 and €2.  See?


That's a €2, a €1, 50 cents, 20 cents, 10 cents, 5 cents, 2 cents (fun, huh?!) and a 1.

Bills don't start till €5.  And they don't bat an eye when I have to break a €50 note to pay for €3 of stuff.  In America we'd see lots of "No bills over $20" or what not.  Jason said he once saw someone hand over a €500! 


Laundry here is different.  I have a combo washer dryer but it is teeny tiny.


And doesn't dry all that well.  I have taken to hanging stuff to dry and then putting it in the dryer for a few afterwards to take out some of the "crunchiness".  They get stiff!



I don't have a microwave, I think a lot of people here do without that modern convenience:

(melting butter in a double boiler method)


I wasn't expecting it to be quite so hard to watch American programming.  Why no Netflix streaming?  Why block some YouTube?


It's been hard to entertain the kids.  We brought the Xbox and have it hooked up to a voltage converter.  The boys play that.  Till the converter overheats.  Autumn wanders around bored (sometimes finding trouble):



I have no yard to send them to.  We can't be running and jumping inside because we live above people.  We've had a lot of rainy days and a lot of ridiculously hot days where we don't exactly feel like heading to the park or sight seeing.  Jason has yet to get paid, plus he wants to do a lot of the touristy stuff with us, so it's not like we've got a bunch of "inside" stuff we can do either (once we made it to the subway).  Autumn is bored.  The boys are playing way too many video games.  We can't just stream a show or movie over the Internet.  The boat should come soon.  Within the week, I think. 

I hope.

Today is a Sunday and everything is pretty much closed.  We went to church and then came back for lunch and re-watched last night's movie.  This time in German with English subtitles.  It's too hot to want to cook, cafe's and restaurants are closed though because it's Sunday.  It's too hot to go out to play.  So I'm blogging.  The boys are playing video games.  Not being able to even run to the store on a Sunday is taking some getting used to as well.

So is the humidity:



Right now it's a big heat wave too.  I wasn't quite expecting it.  And there is not really a/c here.  Even the grocery stores or church are not always air conditioned.  We have a couple of fans.  And I like to open the windows in the evening but there are no screens so there are bugs.

Two friends have had BATS come in. I don't think I'll ever adjust to friggin' bats!  There are also no "prevent your kid from falling to their death" features either.  I can open my 4th floor window as wide as I want. 


Some of the "abruptness" we've witnessed is also a big change . . . two times now, waiters have just taken things out of my childrens' hands. Dalton was coloring when his food came, so they just took care of that and took it away from him! :)

Easton was unnecessarily messing with some knives and the waiter made him stop (I would have too if I thought it "bad"). Dalton did the same thing another time with silverware and the waiter took them right out of his hands again. They're more impatient with my kids than me!

Yet at the same time, maybe German kids behave better?  I never see parents yelling at or publicly correcting their children.  The German children are definitely not as loud as mine are either. 


But there are lots of positives.  Lots of pleasant surprises.  I was glad at how easily we've found a church that we're happy at for the time being. 

I was delighted at how quickly we've made a few friends.  (They had us in their house!  And I got real Indian chai!)


Or this friend--from Colorado!--with a fun baby to play with:


I was blown away by how easily the boys got into a great school!


The parks are suberb.


Recycling is extra fun:


At the same time, it's way more "littered" here than I would have expected. Easton was making the observation about how much they appear to care about their environment (with all the specific recycling) but that they throw trash and especially cigarette butts all over the ground (oh, remind me to come back to cigarettes). This was at a train stop:


And this is a tourist spot (Alexanderplatz), it was also the day after Germany won the World Cup so maybe it's usually not like this?



So yeah, the cigarettes. You can smoke outside here at restaurants. And people do. Way more people than you see smoking in Denver. It really bothers Easton when he's trying to eat and the dude directly behind him is smoking. We live above a bar and in the evenings even up on the 4th floor, smoke drifts into our bedroom. Blech.

But the beer is cheap! It's funny: one receipt I had for lunch had two beers for 2.80 and two apple juices for 2.80. And the beers were at least twice the size of the apple juice! Beers help with the adjusting. ;)

So, we're hanging in there. We haven't been here longer than some vacations yet, so it's hard to really know how we feel about making this place home. And, because we're in temporary housing, we can't really make this place feel like home anyway. There is way more to say about how life and things are over here, but this is long enough so I'll just have to work those things in to other posts at other times. Tschüß! (That's an informal good-bye) ;)